


Don't Leave

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: AU, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Fear, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Rape, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29664900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: "If you shout, I’ll hear you.” Like I heard you before… “I promise."
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Don't Leave

**Author's Note:**

> Possibly triggery. Proceed with caution.

“Don’t leave.” Those two words had been preceded by a gasp that had made his own breath catch. “…I don’t want to be alone.”

The room was dim; he was hovering near the door. He lacked first-hand experience about what was coming next, but he’d seen enough TV to suspect what it might look like and he’s man enough to know he’s not ready to learn how accurate TV is just yet… Even if he’s not man enough to say it.

A tear tracked down her cheek, following the dried paths of the ones that’d come before and he knew there would be more.

“Just… let me see how long they’ll be.” He peered through the blinds. “I’ll only be about ten paces away. If you shout, I’ll hear you.” _Like I heard you before…_ “I promise. I’ll be right back.”

Her chest heaved and he knew that more sobs weren’t far way.

“I only need a minute… Okay?”

“…Okay.”

Slipping into the painfully bright hall, he zeroed in on a familiar nurse. “I need you to explain to me in gruesome detail what’s about to be done. As fast as you can.”

=

She was still clinging to his arms. He’d stayed where the nurse had put him, behind her sitting on the bed so she couldn’t see his face, so she couldn’t see his own tears and he was thankful she didn’t see the way he had to close his eyes during the worst of it. He understood the nurse’s words now that this would be as much a violation as the original. What he’d barged in on at the sound of her screams.

He knew now, after listening to her recite in a monotone he wasn’t familiar with, what happened before he’d managed to get in. He feared that he’ll have nightmares as well. Her hands though, that still shook violently, still gripped his arms and he couldn’t get free to process. He wouldn’t pull away and leave her on her own.

=

Somewhere at a mixer for assistants in DC years ago, he’d found himself in conversation with a certain subset of assistants- ones who shadowed women. As that conversation had carried on, he’d worked out that it was a subset even within that group, they were assistants to what the world viewed as beautiful women.

He’d thought it was mostly in jest the way the others talked about having to keep eyes out for unwanted advances, for leers and inappropriate comments. Of the dozen or so assistants in the group, more than half admitted to having intervened on at least one occasion to prevent some physical act… Two grew quiet and hinted at having had to handle something much worse.

He wondered now how many ever physically stormed a room and removed a man from their boss.

He feared the answer wasn’t zero.

The mixers always reminded him that they were the keepers of a lot in the world, the runners and doers who made sure their bosses always looked and felt their best. He had an important role to fill. The mixers reminded him that he was responsible for more than just her professional wellbeing.

=

Given her status, the nurses didn’t pressure them to clear the room and Blake was thankful for that. After the horrific exam, he didn’t move as she cried in his arms until she passed out. Once she was asleep and lax, he finally allowed himself to cry openly.

His brain wouldn’t let the visions go. It wouldn’t let go the sound as he’d finally got the door open, crashing against the wall as she’d cried out his name. There’d been a moment as horror had overwhelmed him, the sight of her on the sofa with that man over her. Doing things that should never be done, that would be burned as nightmares into his memory forever.

As he’d hauled her out, his hands had been shaking. She’d been crying so hard she could barely manage walking let alone breathing, he’d nearly carried her to safety. His entire focus was on her then, making sure she was protected, safe, that some of her dignity was maintained.

The moment the nurses had shut her in a room, the moment she was safe and cared for by someone more qualified then he, he’d rushed to a trashcan and had thrown up until a nurse said she was begging for him. More than wanting her dignity and privacy, she’d not wanted to be alone among strangers and here, in this place where they knew no one else, that left him as the only person to be by her side.

She gasped, nails digging into his arm and announcing she’d suddenly reawakened, dragging his mind back to the present.

“Shh.” He rubbed her arm with his free hand, comforting her as she fought free from a nightmare. “I’m still here.”

“It- it wasn’t him.” She was still cradled against his chest. “It wasn’t him. It- it was before.”

“Before?”

“The first time.” She gasped. “I dreamed he’d come back again.”

He had no idea what she was talking about and he wished so hard that they weren’t halfway around the globe from home. Her words made something hard form in his chest. “The first time?” He prayed that the first time wasn’t in the last three years. He wouldn’t be able to handle it, not today, if it was and he’d never known.

“After the hearings… at that Embassy cocktail hour…”

And just like that, it all fell into place.

He’d had no clue then what his role would look like, no plan for how to be. So when his boss had been invited to an Embassy in small celebration of her new job, she’d gone alone and he’d never thought more about it.

Her stay at the event had run longer than anticipated and when she’d returned, she’d had him clear her day and had gone home looking decidedly more quiet and even a bit reticent. The following morning she had stated with no explanation that he’d go everywhere with her from then on. He was to always be at her side.

And he had been every day since.

It made him feel ill to learn there was a very horrific reason why and he’d never thought to question it. “Wh- who was it?”

“Does it matter?” She began to shake in his arms.

“…No. It doesn’t matter.” It didn’t matter at all except he should have known, should have noticed, and he’d failed. “I’m sorry.”

“I want to go home.” She whimpered it.

“We can leave as soon as you’re ready.” He began to pull away, but her grip tightened again. “You need to get dressed. I was going to get your bag from the motorcade.” What she’d been wearing had been confiscated.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. Just… I’ll send one of your detail for it.”

After a beat, she nodded and moved so he could get up.

He spoke to the agent in the hall and then waited for the bag to be handed over before turning to the door again. “I’ll let you change.” Slipping out the door, he made sure it was pulled closed before letting out the breath he’d been holding. He fished his phone out of his jacket’s inner pocket, thumbing it awake before debating. There were things that needed to be done, people that needed to be informed, but… He tucked the phone away again unused. They had over eighteen hours of flying ahead of them, calls could wait.

The latch softly clicked on the door and he finally turned around, apprehensively watching as she came into view. “Ready?”

Her eyes darted out into the hall, cataloguing who all was present before looking up at him as she nodded. “Straight to the plane?”

“Yes.” He took the suitcase from her. “Everything’s been handled.” He turned, starting down the hall until she said his name softly.

“Walk with me?”

“Of course.” He offered his arm, but she moved it away, tucking herself into his side and then ducking her face so it was hidden behind a curtain of her hair. “I won’t ever leave.”


End file.
